A Narrative story
topic:A child from a small village or town experiencing a large city for the first time
Plot
The plot is clear and logical.
The plot is supported by strong details.
Dialogue
Dialogue clearly shows individual characters’ personality and attitudes.
Organization
There is a clear and effective organizational structure.
The exposition and resolution are effective.
Ideas are organized logically.
Word Choice
The vocabulary is clearly appropriate for the audience and purpose.
Words are used effectively.
Writing is rich, with a variety of academic and domain-specific words.
Conventions, Formatting, & Paper Review
There is a strong command of conventions. Punctuation, capitalization, and spelling are consistently correct.
Dialogue is punctuated correctly.
MLA formatting is correct.
Paper Review Feedback was submitted & utilized.
Title: The City Lights
In a small village nestled in the mountains, a young boy named Jun had never ventured beyond the familiar sights and sounds of his home. He spent his days exploring the forests, playing with the other children, and helping his family tend to their farm. But one day, an opportunity arose for Jun to visit the bustling city that lay beyond the horizon.
Excited and nervous, Jun boarded a crowded bus that would take him to the city. As the bus rumbled along the winding roads, Jun's eyes grew wide with wonder at the tall buildings, flashing lights, and throngs of people that surrounded him. He had never seen anything like it before.
When the bus finally reached the city, Jun stepped off and was immediately engulfed by the noisy chaos of the streets. Cars honked, people rushed past him, and the tall buildings seemed to reach up to the sky. Jun felt overwhelmed by it all, but he was determined to explore this new and exciting world.
As Jun wandered through the city, he marveled at the grandeur of the buildings, the bright neon signs, and the vast array of shops and restaurants. He had never seen so many people in one place, all going about their busy lives. Jun felt like a small fish in a big pond, but he was eager to soak in every moment of this new experience.
One of the most striking things for Jun was the diversity of the city. People of all races and backgrounds walked the streets, speaking different languages and wearing different clothes. Jun realized that the world was much larger and more complex than he had ever imagined.
Despite his initial trepidation, Jun slowly began to feel at home in the city. He made friends with shopkeepers, tried new foods, and even learned a few words in a foreign language. The city was a whirlwind of excitement and adventure, and Jun relished every moment of it.
But as the sun began to set and the city lights flickered on, Jun felt a pang of homesickness. He missed the quiet tranquility of his village, the welcoming faces of his family, and the familiar sounds of nature. The city was dazzling and exhilarating, but it was also overwhelming and impersonal.
With a heavy heart, Jun boarded the bus back to his village. As the city faded away in the distance, Jun closed his eyes and held onto the memories of his adventure. The city had shown him a world beyond his wildest dreams, but it had also reminded him of the simple joys of home.
When Jun finally arrived back in his village, he was greeted with open arms by his family and friends. They listened eagerly to his stories of the city, laughing and cheering at his adventures. Jun realized that while the city was exciting, it was his village that truly held his heart.
As Jun settled back into the familiar routine of village life, he knew that he would always cherish his time in the city. It had opened his eyes to a world of possibilities and experiences, but it had also strengthened his love for his home and the simple pleasures it offered.
And as Jun lay in bed that night, listening to the gentle rustling of the trees outside his window, he smiled contentedly. The city lights may have dazzled him, but it was the warmth and familiarity of his village that filled his heart with happiness. Jun closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, dreaming of the adventures that awaited him in the world beyond.
it need a climax and a conflict. can you add that please
Title: The City Lights
In a small village nestled in the mountains, a young boy named Jun had never ventured beyond the familiar sights and sounds of his home. He spent his days exploring the forests, playing with the other children, and helping his family tend to their farm. But one day, an opportunity arose for Jun to visit the bustling city that lay beyond the horizon.
Excited and nervous, Jun boarded a crowded bus that would take him to the city. As the bus rumbled along the winding roads, Jun's eyes grew wide with wonder at the tall buildings, flashing lights, and throngs of people that surrounded him. He had never seen anything like it before.
When the bus finally reached the city, Jun stepped off and was immediately engulfed by the noisy chaos of the streets. Cars honked, people rushed past him, and the tall buildings seemed to reach up to the sky. Jun felt overwhelmed by it all, but he was determined to explore this new and exciting world.
As Jun wandered through the city, he marveled at the grandeur of the buildings, the bright neon signs, and the vast array of shops and restaurants. He had never seen so many people in one place, all going about their busy lives. Jun felt like a small fish in a big pond, but he was eager to soak in every moment of this new experience.
One of the most striking things for Jun was the diversity of the city. People of all races and backgrounds walked the streets, speaking different languages and wearing different clothes. Jun realized that the world was much larger and more complex than he had ever imagined.
Despite his initial trepidation, Jun slowly began to feel at home in the city. He made friends with shopkeepers, tried new foods, and even learned a few words in a foreign language. The city was a whirlwind of excitement and adventure, and Jun relished every moment of it.
But as the sun began to set and the city lights flickered on, Jun felt a pang of homesickness. He missed the quiet tranquility of his village, the welcoming faces of his family, and the familiar sounds of nature. The city was dazzling and exhilarating, but it was also overwhelming and impersonal.
In the midst of his conflicting emotions, Jun found himself lost in the maze-like streets of the city. Panic welled up inside him as he realized he was far from familiar surroundings, his heart racing as he tried to find his way back to the bus station.
Frantically searching, Jun stumbled upon a kind old woman who offered to help him. With her guidance, Jun was able to navigate his way back to the bus station, where he found the bus about to depart. With a sense of relief, Jun climbed aboard and made his way back to his village.
Back in the safety of his home, Jun collapsed into his mother's arms, tears of gratitude and exhaustion streaming down his face. The harrowing experience of being lost in the city had shaken him, but it also reminded him of the love and security of his village.
As Jun settled back into his familiar routine, he knew that he would always treasure his time in the city. It had shown him a world beyond his wildest dreams, but it had also reaffirmed the bonds of family and community that he held dear. And as he gazed out at the twinkling city lights from his bedroom window, Jun felt a newfound sense of appreciation for both the excitement of the city and the comfort of home.