Lesson B: Revise an Unelaborated Paragraph Using Specific Instructions for Each Sentence Content Covered: Fahrenheit 451: Pages 19–45 Directions: Revise the paragraph below using the directions provided for each sentence. Type the revised paragraph in the box. The first sentence has been completed for you. (1) Montag thinks Mildred is “empty” (page 41). (2) She spends all of her time watching TV. (3) She watches TV at full volume. (4) The text says that “Mildred couldn’t say” and “Mildred didn’t quite know” what the TV shows were actually about (page 42). (5) She wants to add a fourth TV wall to their living room. (6) She has no memories of important moments from her past. (7) She distracts herself with entertainment so that she never has to have bad thoughts. Sentence 1: ❏ Use an appositive ❏ Expand by answering “Why?” Sentences 2–4: ❏ Combine sentences ❏ Integrate quotations (note: you may choose to include only part of the quotation) Sentence 5: ❏ Expand by answering “Why?” Sentence 6: ❏ Use textual evidence Sentence 7: ❏ Vary vocabulary
(1) According to Montag, Mildred is "empty" because she only spends all of her time watching TV (page 41). (2) Instead of engaging in meaningful activities or conversations, she is constantly glued to the television screen. (3) Not only does she watch TV obsessively, but she also insists on having the volume turned up to the maximum level, immersing herself completely in the mindless content. (4) In fact, the text reveals that Mildred is so detached from reality that she couldn't even comprehend the true meaning behind the TV shows she watches, as the passage states, "Mildred couldn't say" and "Mildred didn't quite know" (page 42). (5) Despite their already overwhelming collection of television walls, she expresses a desire to add a fourth one to their living room. (6) It becomes evident that Mildred's obsession with TV has caused her to lose any recollection of significant moments from her past, leaving her devoid of any cherished memories. (7) By constantly distracting herself with mindless entertainment, Mildred effectively avoids having any unpleasant or negative thoughts, thereby creating an illusion of happiness and contentment in her life.
