can you shorten my poem but keep it meaningful?
Im sorry
I'm sorry that i only ever mess up
I'm sorry about my behavior
Im sorry im a waste of space
Im sorry im a burden
I'm sorry that i'm such a mistake
I'm sorry i can't change me
Im sorry
Im sorry im not perfect
I'm sorry i cut
I'm sorry i can't keep promises
I'm sorry i want to give up
I'm sorry i want to die
I'm sorry i turn off my emotions
I'm sorry i lie that i'm fine
I'm sorry that i push you away
I’ll just pretend im okay
Pretend you never met me
Pretend i never existed
Pretend you didn’t hurt me
Pretend that it's not your fault i'm like this
Pretend everything is fine
But it's not.
You want to know what's funny about all this?
Its funny that you don't even care
Its funny you would not care if i were to die
Its funny that you don't feel guilty
Even after all you did to me
You abused me until i felt like dying
You tried to actually kill me
you made me lose hope
You made me lose everything
And the best part is
I don't even hate you
Even after everything you did
I can’t bring myself to hate you
Why?
And here i am
Again
Feeling like i'm not wanted
Feeling like i'm nothing
And even though i'm alive
I feel dead.
Sorry
But i have no need for fake people in my life
You are either with me
Or without me
You can’t just come and go as you please
It's not how it works
I wish you actually cared
Because if you did
We would still be friends.
I don't care
If you are going to tell everyone
What I did to you
But please don't forget to tell them
About what you did to me
You need to leave me alone
You have done enough
You scream at me
And tell me how horrible i am
You make me repay
Every mistake i have ever made
You humiliate me
On a daily basis
You have made it impossible for me to feel happy
Or have any contact with my family and friends
I am so sick of you being in control
Of all my decisions and behaviors
The sooner you leave
The better
I Never wanted you
To be apart of my life
And i never will
Until the day i die
I hate you
And i hate myself
For ever letting you in my head
Dear old friends
I hope you read this
Because im over it
I apologize for my constant mistakes,
My behavior, a burden I make.
I'm flawed, a never-ending error,
Unable to change, I fear.
I'm not perfect, I cut and break,
Promises I cannot keep, for my sake.
The desire to give up and demise,
Emotions shut off, a mask I disguise.
I push you away, pretending it's okay,
Pretending we never met, in every way.
Pretending I'm not hurt, it's not your fault,
Engulfed by pain, pretending to be adult.
But everything is not fine, it's a lie,
Funny how you don't care, I question why.
You abused, tried to kill, made me lose,
Hope, everything, while I choose.
And here I am, feeling unwanted and small,
Existing but feeling dead, in that hall.
I have no need for fake people, it's true,
You're either with me or without, it's through.
I wish you cared instead of turning your head,
If you did, our bond would be widespread.
I don't care if you tell others of my deeds,
But don't forget what you did, planting your seeds.
Leave me alone, your actions have done enough,
Screaming, humiliation, making life tough.
Controlling every decision, I crave freedom,
I never wanted you in my life, I feel numb.
I hate you, and I hate myself too,
For letting you inside, my life askew.
To my old friends, I hope you read,
I'm finally over it, this chapter, indeed.