One thing I still don't understand about riding an argument is....

how to effectively counter opposing points without becoming overly defensive or aggressive.

When engaged in an argument, it is important to remain calm and composed while countering opposing points. Responding defensively or aggressively can escalate the situation and hinder productive communication. Instead, here are some strategies to effectively ride an argument:

1. Active listening: Pay close attention to the opposing viewpoint and ensure you fully understand it before responding. This demonstrates respect and shows your willingness to engage in a meaningful conversation.

2. Empathy: Consider why the other person holds their perspective. Try to put yourself in their shoes and understand their motivations. This can build trust and help you craft a better response.

3. Use evidence and facts: Present your own arguments supported by evidence, facts, statistics, or expert opinions. This strengthens your position and invites a more objective and rational discussion.

4. Stay focused: Stick to the main topic and avoid bringing in unrelated issues. By staying focused, you keep the conversation on track and prevent it from devolving into personal attacks or distractions.

5. Constructive questioning: Ask thoughtful questions that challenge the opposing viewpoint. This encourages the other person to further explain their position and helps to identify any flaws or inconsistencies in their argument.

6. Respectful language: Choose your words carefully and avoid derogatory or offensive language. Being respectful in your communication maintains a productive environment and fosters open dialogue.

7. Find common ground: Identify any shared interests or values between you and the other person. Highlighting these commonalities can help build bridges and create a more friendly atmosphere, making it easier to find a resolution.

8. Acknowledge valid points: If you come across valid points from the other side, acknowledge them. This shows that you are open-minded and willing to recognize the strengths in the opposing argument.

9. Stay calm and composed: Regardless of how heated the argument becomes, try to remain calm and composed. Take deep breaths, listen attentively, and respond thoughtfully. This helps prevent emotional reactions that can derail the discussion.

Remember, the goal should be to engage in a respectful and constructive conversation rather than "winning" the argument. By using these strategies, you can effectively counter opposing points while maintaining a positive atmosphere for discussion.