Read the excerpt from Martine’s personal narrative about receiving a birthday gift.

I ripped carelessly through the wrapping paper to reveal a plain, brown box. My eyebrows raised in anticipation. What could be inside? My fingers worked more slowly now, pulling back the tape that held the box shut. As soon as the flaps sprung open, I peered inside. But I inwardly shuddered when I discovered three pairs of bright neon-green socks. Oh no, I thought. These look hideous. I would never wear something like these, but I also don’t want to hurt my aunt’s feelings. What should I do? I furrowed my brow and bit my lip, uncertain what to do next.

What could Martine include in this excerpt to engage her readers?

descriptive details that paint a picture for readers
personal pronouns that establish the point of view
language that explains what the writer was feeling
dialogue that shows how the people in the story interact

The excerpt already includes elements that engage the readers, such as the use of personal pronouns ("I," "my"), descriptive details (ripping through the wrapping paper, pulling back the tape, neon-green socks), and language that explains what the writer was feeling (anticipation, shuddered, uncertain). However, the excerpt could benefit from adding dialogue to show how the people in the story interact.

In this excerpt, Martine could engage her readers by including descriptive details that paint a picture for them. By describing the wrapping paper being ripped, the plain, brown box, and the bright neon-green socks, Martine can help her readers visualize the scene and feel immersed in the story. Descriptive details can bring the narrative to life and make it more engaging for the readers.

In order to engage her readers, Martine could include descriptive details that paint a picture for readers. This would involve providing more specific and vivid descriptions of the wrapping paper, box, and neon-green socks. By using sensory language and imagery, Martine can make the scene more visually engaging for her readers, allowing them to better visualize the situation and empathize with her emotions.