Wow! Thank you very much! Do you have any ideas about the items I listed at the bottom which I am not sure how to incorporate.
And, does my opening paragraph reflect an analytical thesis?
Do I discuss, describe, evaluate and show in my paper?
Is it logical and clear?
And, I need help with a closing paragraph.
Thanks so much in advance!!
Actually with the ideas at the bottom I think it can tell someone what those events where if they didn't know.Your opening paragragh reflects an analytical thesis wonderfully.It isn't just floating there it has reasons and purpose to be there.Throughout the essay you discussed everything perfectly and the same with dscribing and evaluating.Good Jod and your welcome...lol
P.S.If you don't me asking,What grade are you in?
10th grade thanks a lot!!!!
are you a teacher?
NO,I'm a student,I'm in Ib...I'm a 9th grader...lol
Request Feedback on the following essay and also how to incorporate some items:
The American Revolution and the French Revolution each majorily affected many people and how the countries were run. This essay will consider the impact of these two revolutions on economy, revolutionary thought, social,political and geographical structures-- similarities and differences of each.
Ofcourse, the main similarity is for sure, the plan for change. The European Age of Enlightenment in the early 1700's brought together the ideas of the Renaissance and the scientific revolution. Thetre was for the first time a group of philosiphers which believed that free people could build a better society. These ideas were at the root of both the American and French revolutions. There were supporters of ideas of Enlightenment from both france as well as America, such as, Voltaire, Diderot, Montewquieu, Rosseau and Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson, as well. It was John Locke who believed that people made a contract with their government to protect their natural rights, life, liberty and property. The populaiary of the idea of absolute monarchy declined greatly after the American and French revolutions which promoted theories of government based on popular sovereigntyu. The absolute control of the FRench king and his court was an unfair system of government, a government that was also bankrupt. On the political side of the American Revolution, a new government with elected representatives was formed under the articles of confederation.
Economically speaking some achievements, on the side of the American Revolution, was the lifting of the british trade restriction, which would allow for trade and in turn build economy. As for the French Revolution, economically, the extravagance of the rich, and the misery of the poor were extreme. Wehn the king needed even more taxes, the commoners refused which moved them from the unfair established economic classes of people in France.
That is all I have so far. I also want to tie intot he political area athat for the French revolution, the national assembly was formed to break from the king and form a new government based on a constitution.
And, Geographically,
American Revolution-the 13 colonies became the independent USA and were recogbnized by Great Britain.
Britian gave the US the land East of the Mississippi River, north to Canada and South to the border of Florida.
Some other ideas to expand on,.,,,
American Revolution-the successful reveolution encouraged other people, especially the french, to ocverthrow their own government.
French Revolution-Due in part to France's Fuedal arrangements, food was scarce, bread which was the main part of the peasants diet, was very high priced by the summer of 1789.
(9-1-91)
To me this essay is wonderful.I feel that you used very good vocabulary and that If I was grading this I would give it an A.Good Job!:)
why did business leaders want to apply darwin's theory of natural selection to human society?
Great job on your essay so far! It's clear that you have done your research and have a good understanding of the American Revolution and the French Revolution. Your thesis statement is analytical as it outlines the main points you will be discussing in your essay.
To incorporate the additional items you listed, here are some suggestions:
1. Economic impact - You have already mentioned the lifting of British trade restrictions in the American Revolution. To expand on this, you could discuss how this led to the growth of American industries and trade, contributing to the development of a strong economy. For the French Revolution, you can elaborate on the economic inequality and the financial crisis that led to the revolution. You could discuss how the French economy was impacted by the revolution and the reforms that were implemented.
2. Political impact - You have briefly mentioned the formation of a new government under the Articles of Confederation in the American Revolution. To expand on this, you can discuss the challenges faced by the new American government and how it evolved into the more stable system under the Constitution. For the French Revolution, you can discuss the establishment of the National Assembly and the subsequent changes in the political structure, including the rise and fall of different revolutionary governments.
3. Geographical impact - You mentioned the recognition of the independent USA by Great Britain and the land acquisition in the American Revolution. To expand on this, you can discuss the impact of this territorial expansion on the growth and development of the United States. As for the French Revolution, you can discuss any territorial changes, such as the expansion of French control or the impact of the revolution on French colonies.
4. Other ideas - You can tie in the influence of the American Revolution on the French Revolution by discussing how the success of the American Revolution inspired the French people to fight for their own rights and freedoms. Additionally, you can expand on the hardships faced by the French people, such as the scarcity of food and the high prices of essential goods, which contributed to the unrest and eventual revolution.
For your closing paragraph, you can summarize the main points you have discussed in your essay and highlight the lasting impact of both revolutions on society, politics, and geography. You can also reflect on the significance of these revolutions in shaping modern nations and inspiring future movements for change.
Overall, your essay is logical and clear, and you have successfully discussed, described, evaluated, and shown the impact of both revolutions. Keep up the good work!